Dear Criminals,

Please stop breaking into my car, there is nothing left. Also, I understand taking the stereo and CDs, but what are you going to do with my registration, and why did you break my ocarina? It was a present, dick.

Try again and I’ll go Gordon Freeman on your ass. That’s right, I’m camping behind some creates right now, watching you read this.

Sincerely,

Fuck you.

Well said!